Friday, October 17, 2014

ISO Friends :: Now Accepting Applications

Yesterday a coworker stopped me and mentioned an acquaintance that we had in common.  Which is huge to me, seeing as we've only been here 9 weeks now.  After I told Handsome about it, I also jokingly lamented about how tired I was of not having friends, and that it was apparently driving me crazy, as I was considering the coworker for best friend status already, based solely on that one conversation and the fact that him & his wife roller blade.

Seriously people, roller blading is a thing here.  For some reason this makes me feel like I'm in an episode of full house.

Anyhow, as I was driving to work this morning, I was thinking about politics (I'm a little scattered.  Its Friday.  Sue me.), and I thought, "That's what I need!  A friend who is quite interested in politics but also understands how to have not-shouting conversations!"

And so this list began.  Without further ado, my list of friends that I would like to find.  The down side is that you must be local, as I've currently got the position of "awesome people who live too far away to see regularly" completely filled ;)  (I'm just kidding, I'd love to be your friend, you Pacific-Standard-Time-Zone-Person, you!)

  • The Politician.  Note that this friend should not be an *actual* politician (I'm thinking banker? Accountant? Something serious) but should have a serious interest in politics.  Signs that this could be you include an avid desire to read news  papers and listen to talk radio, watch news shows, and scour the internet for the truth.  Must also have a sense of humor, understand boundaries, and appreciate good food.  I'm picturing this position as also filling in part-time as "grill master" but that's optional.  
  • The Cruise Director.  This friend will always know what events are going on, and always be game for going.  In order to fill this position, you'd have to be a self-starter, registering for things just because you want to do them, not in any way needing me to join, but always inviting.  Also open to invitations from others.  A good time.  But not in the bathroom-stall-graffiti sort of way.
  • El Que Come Alimentos.  Which google tells me is spanish for "the one who eats food".  This friend must always be up for good food, particularly Mexican, although not exclusively.  A desire to make such food is not necessary, as I love to feed people.  Hollow legs would be an asset.
  • Wilderness Camper.  This person must love the out of doors, activities, and being active.  If he/she could mesh well with The Cruise Director, all the better.  The level of "hippie" for this position is evaluated on a sliding scale, but please note that if you choose not to shave, it will be a conversation at some point.
  • Pop Culture Queen (or King).  Looking for a friend who knows how to relax, understands the importance of netflix marathons, and can update me on goings-ons without expecting me to keep up with it myself.  The person who fills this slot would need to have a fairly flexible schedule, and be open to last minute invitations like "Hey, I just realized that New Girl is on tonight!  Wanna come over?  You bring the wine, I'll have chips & salsa."  Benefits will likely include magazine subscriptions for Christmas presents.
All applicants should respond with their name, age, life stage, current occupation/hobbies, and favorite cookie type, as well as any allergies.  Other positions we desire to fill but have yet to list include: Computer Whiz, Pool Owner Who Frequently Needs House Sitters, Horse Fanatic, Board Game Champion, Boating Enthusiast, and Business Owner.  Note that the deciding factor will be favorite cookie type, and there are only a few wrong answers.

Because that's how we do.
<3 M.
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