Sunday, May 22, 2011

SYKE! p.s.- I'm mercurial

I got you guys real good.

Whats that?  You never believed me?  You knew you were irresistible and I would be unable to stay away from you?  You're so smart.

Ok.  Enough about you.  You don't come here to hear about yourself.  You come here to hear about me, right?


Is this thing on?

I am mercurial, easily shifted and prone to change.  One of my favorite hymns (Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing) ends like this:

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

But honestly, thats not where I intend to go with this.  I'm not thinking about anything quite so heavy.  I'm more moving along the SHA route.  You know, Sweet Home Alabama.  That movie, it moves me.  I feel like I may have mentioned this before, but I'm not sure when.  Either way, every, EVERY time I watch that movie, even when I lived in PA, it made me want to have a southern accent.

Are you tracking with me now?  Good, glad you could join me.

This situation of mine goes deeper than just SHA, though.  When I watch Law & Order, I want to be a cop.  When I watch CSI: Miami, I want to be Calleigh Dusquene.  I watched GI Jane and considered joining the military.  Let me listen to someone else's great plan for adventure, and I want to ride to Mexico on horseback and open up a shop by the sea.  Serve empenadas and queso.

And now, here at this engineering conference, I'm sitting in on talks and listening to research (which is sometimes as boring as it sounds, sometimes not) and talking with people smarter than me, and the whimsy hits again; I want to be a kick-butt engineer.

I think there are a bunch of small parts of me that want to be each of these things.  The emerge and withdraw, battle and retreat, and sometimes they throw stuff at each other.  If this sounds messy, you're right.  But this is my battle preside over, and I will not abdicate my position.  Someday, a winner will be declared and I will finally know what I want to be when I grow up.  And I promise you'll be the first to know.

But please don't hold your breath for that moment.  Yes, I know that if you pass out from a lack of oxygen, you'll start breathing again, but you might hit your head when you fall, and I can't have that on my conscience.

Wish I were a Toys 'R Us kid,

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