Monday, August 8, 2011

My Muse


I was speaking with Handsome on Friday, and I told him that I was dissatisfied with this blog-business here, this whole thing.

I might have been in a bit of a mood.

Then Handsome hauls off and tells me that its probably because I used to write because I wanted to, and now [he thinks] I write just to get hits and visits and followers. 

This is what happens with a zoom lens and not enough space.
Its also Handsome talking to me, while trying to block my shot of the lake.
Because he's darling like that.
So I stopped talking to him.

And then I rolled the idea around in my mind, and I thought on it, and waited a bit for any of the truth in his statement to stand up and make itself known.  I didn’t find exactly what he said, but I did find that I was forcing the issue, some.  Writing even when I didn’t feel like it, just to get a post up.  He was at least partially right: I used to write because I wanted to.

Silly, I know, that in these short 6 months since February (which is when I think I really started writing in full force) that I could get to this point, whatever “this point” is.  But I wasn’t writing just because I wanted to, and I wasn’t writing what I wanted and what I meant to be writing.

So I stopped writing. 

I didn’t even worry about it at all.  I still photographed things and thought to myself, “Maybe I’ll write about this some day,” but that’s as far as I got.  It was nice, the break.  The reprieve.  I mean, it only lasted about 4 days, but it was 4 days that I needed.  I think I’m back, although I may just take some breaks here and there.  I don’t exactly have a plan, and I’m not sure what I’m going to do, save for one thing.

In the immortal words of my husband (can you say that about someone while they’re still alive?),

I do what I want.

And so I will.

Now, this may mean that what I write has even less bearing on your life than my normal, everyday drivel, but it’s a chance I’m willing to take.  I’ve got to; else I’ll end up writing to please others, and not sharing any of my own self. 

Sharing nothing that’s not me,
TFW

2 comments:

  1. You have a smart man there! I have a new random post plugin that tweets out old posts and I'm enjoying reading my old posts. I have a quite a few of our department following me from the fanpage on facebook. I overthink everything before I post and that is NOT ME! I get to have my opinion of things as long as it's not hurting others. Keep at it girl!

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Val - Firefighter Wife

    Thanks for the encouragement!! You do the same :)

    ReplyDelete

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