Tuesday, September 6, 2011

You Can't HANDLE the Jorts!

Jorts (jort-s): Definition - Shorts made out of denim.  Specifically, denim shorts roughly shorn above the knee.
I do not have words for this experience.  I have only photos, and you may find some of them disturbing.  If you are uncertain about your capability, here is one photo for your viewing pleasure, and you can decide for yourself.

Forgive the perspective.
Let's just chalk it up to me being in shock.
And yes, that is Handsome's favorite belt.  He got it for my birthday.
If you feel up to it, please, there is much more waiting for you...

See these two ladies?
Yes, one of them *coughMEcough* has a squinting problem.
But they're relatively normal-looking, no?

Well, those ladies are married to these gentlemen.
Yes, that is the rain falling down.
No, that is not a shadow on H's upper lip.
Yes, it frightens me sometimes.  The mustache, not the rain.
Notice how much the above picture hid.
Don't look too long, you may never be able to recover.
"There are some things you just can't un-see."
I console myself with the fact that at least H's costume wasn't permanent.
This dude used straight-up spray paint.
Front & back.
The boys fit in well with the crowd at the race.
We all participated in the wave.
7 times.
Because it was necessary, I guess.
These tow trucks are the only thing I saw race around the track.
Notice it has stopped raining.
This is after approx. 2 1/2 hours, drying the track.

And then...

The rain started back up
Someone apparently stole his birthday AND cancelled the race due to rain.
If you think Handsome looks depressed in the above picture, you're right.  But have no fear, he is fully recovered today, due to going to the rescheduled race earlier today.  There were apparently a few delays, but he got to see the race.  And yes, he wore the shorts again.

Coming to grips with Handsome's way of life,


  1. I like the new design; the old barnwood feel suits you and your longed-for homesteading way of life.

    I was looking at these pictures with your mom, and I pondered aloud, "They're so pretty and look so normal... How did these men land these women?" Glad I'm not the only one pondering these things. I'm also glad the 'stache is temporary. How much farther till he gets to 17? I'm still hoping for a picture in a red shirt and hat with denim overalls before it gets shaved. Even some bad photoshopping or him sticking his head through one of those "put your face in the hole to look like ________" photo op things would suffice. :)

  2. @Miss Hannah,

    We're still about T-10, due to a week full of tailgating and whatnot. I'll do what I can for you with the picture request :)

    <3 Mariah

  3. LOL, y'all are funny.

    Stunk about his birthday. Going back the next day just don't seem the same.

    What'd you do with the jeans legs?
    I used to know some jeans crafts from back in the 70's, heh. Can't hardly remember now. Used to be something they did with the pockets.
    You can cut the legs off a pair of jeans and sew it closed straight across the bottom and add a handle and make a purse, or bag. Sewing or ironing on political or comical patches was a big thing.
    Grannie had a jeans bag like that she kept clothespins in.

  4. Jaynek9/19/2011

    Jeff has jorts too. He loves them. I hide them so he thinks he has lost them (I feel badly when I think of just throwing his clothes away without asking him) then he finds them again when we move, then I have to hide them again. It's cyclical.

    You can never really escape the jort. Because as you say "some things just can't be un-seen."

  5. @Jaynek,

    You make me laugh! I cleaned out my Step-dad's closet once, getting rid of his acid-wash jeans and terrible awful sweaters. I didn't want to just throw them out either, so I hid them under his bed until he noticed they were gone. As soon as I figured out he wasn't mad, we donated them.

    p.s.- I think you need to stop moving so those things can stay hidden!

    <3 Mariah

  6. JORTS are AMAZING! These photos made me crack up! You ARE awesome!

    1. Oh Kelly. It was so bad. And that mustache?? *shudder* It was... I'm still not fully recovered!


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