Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Letters to Orlando: Part III

Dear Good Life,

I'm quite unsure as to why I don't have views like this regularly.
Also in question: Why don't I have 5 pillows and spend my days lounging?
Please get back to me on that.

Dear Confernce Coordinators, 

Let me just tell you, I'm touched.
You've done what no one else has been able to do before.
You spelled and pronounced my name right.
For the first time, I was not "Maria Magagnoootie"
It feels so good to be me.

Dear Cabana Boy, 

You were nothing like what the movies had led me to expect.
You wore your shirt, and your skin did not glisten, nor did your eyes twinkle or your smile shine.
In a word, disappointing.
Although you did bring me fresh fruit.
Still, the illusion was shattered.
I'm trying not to hold you personally responsible.


Dear Room Service Leftovers,

You were incredibly ...
Tough, I think, is the nice way of putting it.

Apparently there is a reason that people order a new bagel every morning, instead of just snacking on what they didn't eat the day before.
Who knew?

As you can see, I was not deterred.
Also, I'd like to be able to place dirty dishes outside of my door at home, and have them disappear.
Please get to work on arranging that.
Many thanks.
Dear Handsome, 
I forgive you for calling and waking me up 3 hours before my alarm.
I forgive you for calling and waking me up to tell me that you slept through your own alarm.
I'd say I forgive your liking me so much that you still share your stories with me, 10 years in, but we both know there's nothing to forgive.
I've loved you longer than most 3rd graders have been alive, and I'll love you when those 3rd graders are old and gray.
Of course, you and I will always be 19.
Young forever,

For more Letters To Orlando: Part I, Part II, Part IV


  1. I loved the last part, your little bit to Handsome. And the cabana boy too. Only in the movies, right?

    1. I think it's Legally Blonde that gave me such false expectations... ha ha!

  2. Loved this post! These letters are the best. The one to the cabana boy cracked me up.

    1. I'm telling you, total letdown.

  3. Oh my goodness! To the cabana boy - Fabulous!
    And sounds like Orlando was awesome.

    1. It's been pretty fan-tasmic. I'm putting it in the "Win" column, fo sho.

  4. as always, smiling and laughing....could you just insert yourself into my daily life, please?

    1. Uhm, that's what I'm on here for! Ha ha, glad we can encourage each other!

  5. I can relate on the name thing... I have never once heard it pronounced correctly by an announcer. Most of the time it's spelled wrong in programs too. Thankfully, manfriend has a slightly easier last name. It was actually one of the necessary criteria for dating him.

    1. Wait, is Seuberling the easy name or the hard one? And is it pronounced "Sue-ber-ling"? I went from super easy to super confusing, apparently, when I married Handsome.


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