Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Pregnancy Irony

***Disclaimer***
Yes.  I am pregnant.
I'm also still Mariah.
While there will be a new topic added to the list of things I love to bore you with, I promise that
(1) There will be little to no mention of lady parts & things of that nature.  It's just not my style.
(2) There will still be plenty of mention of other things, as riveting as quilting, my disproportionately long toes, and how amazingly amazing it is to grow potatoes 
(SO AMAZING!).
That is all.
**************

Moving on with our new topic, I would like to take a moment to point out some of the many ironies (a la Alanis Morissette -style) I've noticed while newly prego.  Feel free to add any that I've missed, keeping in mind that it is my FIRM belief that it's best for me, at this point, to block out everything past 7 months.  Please, no war stories yet.  I'm just not strong enough.

This is my morning, when Handsome leaves before the sun.
Isn't the sky pretty?
Isn't it great that I get to go back to sleep??
(hint: it is!)
Irony ONE: You're exhausted, but not supposed to drink coffee.  I know, technically, you can have up to 2 cups a day.  But all the same, when there's a limit on things, it's... well, nervous-making, especially at first.  (On a totally unrelated note, I may or may not have had my first 6 oz. yesterday with my hot chocolate, and the world was brighter.)

Irony TWO: You're supposed to be eating in order to grow this life inside of you, but you don't want to even think about food.  Or, you can only stomach nachos with cheese sauce and chili.  I've been the person who does that seen what that type of diet can do to a person, and it's not pretty.  Not even on a baby.

Irony THREE: You are suggested to keep the news to yourself, but you don't feel like yourself.  This is one I didn't understand (or obey).  You feel like poo, you sleep 14 hours a day, you only eat crackers and chocolate cake, and no one is supposed to notice?  "Oh, I have the 3-month flu..."

Irony FOUR: You should be relishing these final 4 months before your sleep is no longer your own (first the big belly, then the actual baby interrupting it), but you lie awake dreaming/worrying about the whole thing.  Handsome's favorite I-can't-fall-asleep-line seems to be "What have we done?"

Irony FIVE: Everyone wants to know if you're just so excited?! while in fact, you feel as though the bottom just dropped out.  Now, this may only apply to surprise pregnancies like ours (We had just discussed that now is probably the worst time to have a baby.  3 weeks later, "Oh, hey, I'm 7 weeks pregnant."), but I think anyone who (a) is surprised, (b) is doing this for the first time, or (c) doesn't follow my rule about stopping all thought at 7 months is going to feel a little in over their heads.  Are we happy?  Fo Sho.  Excited about losing sleep & autonomy, the huge change this will be to our marriage/habits/weekends, and thing things a woman's body has to do?  Not exactly.  I'm sure that will come, but when people ask right now, I either lie or say "We're getting excited."

That's all I've got.  During the 3 days where the only person I told was a friend & Amazon.com (more on how I handled the situation like a scared 17-year-old later), I thought of about 23 more.  But there's this memory thing, where you really want to remember and hold onto things, especially this first time around, but you can't remember diddly squat.  Like, lost your keys for 4 hours yesterday (hypothetically) (not), can't remember.  Oh, wait, that's number SIX.

Sticky Notes Abound,
TFW

20 comments:

  1. Congrats!!
    Don't worry about #2. The first 3-4 months are the hardest food wise, around the 5 month mark all you think about is food. I was working at a rental company my first pregnancy and one of my duties was to count back dirty dishes. It was especially lovely after a long weekend (and extra day for scrapings to ferment in the heat). Normally it would kill our appitite; pregnant me just remembered that I was hungry. LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I can't wait to be hungry! Ha, thanks for the encouragement!

      Delete
  2. The memory thing should definitely be added to the irony list:
    Supposed to remember a million new things to do / not do; due to pregnancy brain can't remember my own phone number.

    And I totally relate to Irony 3. I told my boss at 8 weeks, because I thought for sure it must be obvious. I was bloated so horribly I barely fit into my clothes, I was so tired I was falling asleep at my desk, I was COLD all the time (and I'm usually hot in the office), and I was peeing about every 30 min. So I figured I'd rather tell than let the rumors start.
    Yeah, he had no idea. Hadn't even noticed all those things I thought were obvious, LOL.

    About #5 - deep breath. God is in control. And His timing is infinitely better than ours. I'm sure it will take some time to adjust, but you can rest in the knowledge that now is surely NOT the worst time to have a baby, or He wouldn't have let it happen. It is, as it was meant to be.

    Continuing to pray for a happy & healthy pregnancy for you & baby!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement! I'm just trusting that God knows more than me, as He always does :)

      Delete
  3. Oh the memory loss!! Irony #...7? People expect you to talk about the baby with a smile on your face, but in the next sentence ask you how you're feeling. So you either tell the truth and say you feel like crap, which seems untrue since you're smiling and talking, or you lie and say you're feeling good. But then your friend wonders why, if you're feeling good, you can't bring yourself to meet for lunch because throwing up in a public toilet is no fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It does seem to be a crazy balancing act! I think the 2nd half will be a lot more fun :)

      Delete
  4. what have we done... hahaha... i like to know what's "really" going on and i can always count on your posts for that! =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I'll hit you with the truth, be it pretty or ugly :) Thanks for stopping it, it's always nice to hear from you!

      Delete
  5. Congrats! Babies are the greatest even if you have quite wrapped your head around the idea. You don't need to feel too excited yet - you have a while to get there. Ha I love this post because is so.freaking.true. My favorite part was "oh I have the 3 month flu..." hahah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I do think it's nice that babies don't arrive the same day you find out you're expecting (I guess then they wouldn't call it "expecting"...). I'll be giving myself a little time to get excited, I'm sure it will come! Thanks for stopping in!

      Delete
  6. Congrats! What wonderful news. Enjoy every minute---the irony has just begun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crazy news! Ha, thanks, I'll be doing my best to look for the upsides! Always good post material, right?

      Delete
  7. At 28 I still think when I find out I'm pregnant I'll feel like a scared 16 year old.

    Congratulations!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I don't know how anyone could NOT feel like a scared 16-year-old!

      Delete
  8. Hm. Don't forget that everyone keeps telling you how important it is that you stay in shape, both for your sake and the baby's, but you're so tired you can barely see straight, let alone work out. Not to mention that whole nausea thing if you're cursed with that.

    Also the irony that it's during the first trimester that you feel like a total train wreck; by the time your pregnancy starts showing and everyone wants to coddle you, you feel fine. Well, I did, and I surely hope you do too. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I can't wait to feel fine!!

      Delete
  9. End result - no matter the battle scars and war stories - they are worth it. Hang in there, do what makes you comfortable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Definitely took that advice yesterday, although I should have thought ahead about how an entire box of mac & cheese might not make me so "comfortable" later... :) I'll keep reminding myself that this IS worth it!

      Delete
  10. Ahh, the irony. So true.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's just... I guess you gotta laugh, right?? :)

      Delete

Add your thoughts to the mix:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...