Yes. I am pregnant.
I'm also still Mariah.
While there will be a new topic added to the list of things I love to bore you with, I promise that
(1) There will be little to no mention of lady parts & things of that nature. It's just not my style.
(2) There will still be plenty of mention of other things, as riveting as quilting, my disproportionately long toes, and how amazingly amazing it is to grow potatoes
That is all.
Moving on with our new topic, I would like to take a moment to point out some of the many ironies (a la Alanis Morissette -style) I've noticed while newly prego. Feel free to add any that I've missed, keeping in mind that it is my FIRM belief that it's best for me, at this point, to block out everything past 7 months. Please, no war stories yet. I'm just not strong enough.
|This is my morning, when Handsome leaves before the sun.|
Isn't the sky pretty?
Isn't it great that I get to go back to sleep??
(hint: it is!)
Irony TWO: You're supposed to be eating in order to grow this life inside of you, but you don't want to even think about food. Or, you can only stomach nachos with cheese sauce and chili. I've
Irony THREE: You are suggested to keep the news to yourself, but you don't feel like yourself. This is one I didn't understand (or obey). You feel like poo, you sleep 14 hours a day, you only eat crackers and chocolate cake, and no one is supposed to notice? "Oh, I have the 3-month flu..."
Irony FOUR: You should be relishing these final 4 months before your sleep is no longer your own (first the big belly, then the actual baby interrupting it), but you lie awake dreaming/worrying about the whole thing. Handsome's favorite I-can't-fall-asleep-line seems to be "What have we done?"
Irony FIVE: Everyone wants to know if you're just so excited?! while in fact, you feel as though the bottom just dropped out. Now, this may only apply to surprise pregnancies like ours (We had just discussed that now is probably the worst time to have a baby. 3 weeks later, "Oh, hey, I'm 7 weeks pregnant."), but I think anyone who (a) is surprised, (b) is doing this for the first time, or (c) doesn't follow my rule about stopping all thought at 7 months is going to feel a little in over their heads. Are we happy? Fo Sho. Excited about losing sleep & autonomy, the huge change this will be to our marriage/habits/weekends, and thing things a woman's body has to do? Not exactly. I'm sure that will come, but when people ask right now, I either lie or say "We're getting excited."
That's all I've got. During the 3 days where the only person I told was a friend & Amazon.com (more on how I handled the situation like a scared 17-year-old later), I thought of about 23 more. But there's this memory thing, where you really want to remember and hold onto things, especially this first time around, but you can't remember diddly squat. Like, lost your keys for 4 hours yesterday (hypothetically) (not), can't remember. Oh, wait, that's number SIX.
Sticky Notes Abound,