Delicate Fortress Math

Hey all. 

I thought I should let you know that the stress level in my house is basically atmospheric at this point.  As in, its so high, it's in the atmosphere.

Handsome's paramedic school is just about as bad as we feared it might be, and I've got a good amount of work to do for my school.  Add in me leaving every other week, while still trying to maintain a home life, and, well, there's a lot.

All that to say I'm not feeling very witty.  Apparently my wittiness is indirectly proportionate to my stress level.  And before you bug out on me for writing something mathy, you know what that means.  Yes, you do.  It means that when my stress level goes up, my wittiness goes down.  Boom.  Done.  Pre-Calc passed.  You're a rockstar.

Anyhow, to spare my mind for today, I'm just going to tell you one more little mathy thing.  Just one.  Are you ready?  C'mon, you already passed Pre-Calc, you can handle just one more itty bitty piece of information.  Here we go:

Sale Prices < Regular Prices

(read: sale prices are less than regular prices)

I know, now you're really impressed that I'm getting a PhD, right?  But this little piece of information is important, because one of my very favorite shops is having a sale, and I thought you might want to know about it.

Check them out here!

That's right.  Those awesome people who offer beautiful goods for sale with the purpose of freeing women everywhere from slavery and prostitution.  Basically, they're kind of a big deal.  And right now, they're having a sale.  So go check it out!  And while you're checking it out, just know that I wouldn't be mad if anyone decided to buy me any of these:

A quilted throw made out of old Saris

New Friends

Hey y'all, watch this!

I made a new friend.  She's actually a not-so-new friend anymore, as its been a month or more.  But still, in the realm of friendships, its still just a baby.  Her name is Kerrie, and she's awesome.  I almost don't want to tell you about her, because then you'll want to be her friend and I'll have to fight you share her...

But I know that sharing is good, and so I wanted to tell you (1) That Kerrie is awesome, (2) That her and her (as she puts it) hot hot hottie hot husband Wade are going to India on a missions trip and (3) Because she gave me the awesome opportunity to help sponsor her trip (you can have that awesome opportunity, too!) she let me post on her b-log today.  If you've been around here for any amount of time, its not a whole lot of info that you don't already know.  BUT, she did do some really super cool stuff with a picture I sent her, and I'm uber impressed.

So check it out!

I love new friends,

TFW

Speed Dating: Blog Style

***** NOTE: I am guest-posting over at Nicole's blog today, in addition to this post here.*****

***** Because I'm generous like that. *****

Now, I haven't dated anyone in over a decade (WHA?!) and even then, it was a pass-notes-in-the-hall, have-your-friend-ask-his-friend-if-he-said-he-liked-you sort of romance.  But I think that, if I were a dating person today, I might try speed dating.  Its waaay low pressure, you get to meet a ton of people (I love meeting people) and I think there's food involved.

Speed Dating

So when I saw that This Little Momma was hosting a Speed Dating {Blog Style} Link-Up, I thought I'd give it a go.  So here's my "go".  Please don't ding me!

Up In The Air

Did you feel it?  On Saturday, did you know?

Did you know that the stars aligned?

For me, this meant that Handsome had the day off, did not have much to read, was awake before the day slipped into the PM, and was in love with me.

Of course, he's always in love with me, but it's still nice, nevertheless.

And, on top of all that goodness, there's one more thing: FWA.  Which, if you don't know, is an acronym for Freedom Weekend Aloft.  Which, if you don't know, means awesomesauce up in here.

That's right.  It was a hot air balloon festival.  And I didn't have to travel all the way to AZ for it to happen.  (Although I do someday want to travel to AZ and make it happen...)  It was fan-flippin-tastic.  My face hurt from smiling so much.

Gardening Goods

The cucumbers are quite a prolific bunch.
There's these little babies popping up all over the place.
Apparently they find their side of the garden to be quite romantic.

This corn was a little warped.
Not sure what happened to it, but it just wasn't right from the beginning.
The rest of them mourned his loss for a few days, but they've recovered.
Moral of the story: don't expect these guys to have your back.

The tomatoes are doing quite well.
It still makes me laugh that I have 8 of these plants, since neither H. nor I eat tomatoes.
The future of these kiddos?
Lets just say I call them Prego and Ragu

Don't Wanna

Let's assume this is true: There are many bad reasons for doing things.

Then I posture (I think I'm using that word wrong) this: There are even more lousy reasons for not doing things.

There's the "I'm busy" and "I'm tired" excuses that fall so easily from my lips.  There's the "I wasn't planning on this" one that works in lots of situations.  There are good excuses, like "I've already promised to be somewhere else" that, if we didn't use them, we'd be terrible promise keepers.  But there's lots of not-so-good excuses that often prohibit us from doing otherwise awesome things.

Like 2 weeks ago, when Handsome had the day off, and out of the blue announced, "Let's go to a ball game."

I had other plans.  They mostly included the food I was planning on eating, the blogs I was planning on reading, and the shows I was planning on watching.  They were plans, but mostly it was that I just didn't wanna.  After my initial hesitation, I made myself say yes, trusting that I would later be glad of this impromtu change, and dove headlong into it.

Apparently, "Lawn" is code for "Bring your own seats"
We found that out a little too late.
We also found out that the WV Power is affiliated with our own dear Pittsburgh Pirates.
In true Pirate fashion, they didn't exactly win...

I called a friend, we met them there, and proceeded to have a perfectly American night.  Much food was consumed (better than I had planned to eat), peoples faces were "read" (better than the blogs I had planned on, no offense!), and the ball game was mostly watched (which definitely beat any show I was planning on).  Mostly, I made some awesome memories with my favorite people.

So go do something unexpected.  I promise you won't regret it.  If you let a "don't wanna" hold you back, you really just might regret that.

Off to the next adventure, 

TFW

(no more) Dirty Laundry

I finally did it.  I've been thinking about it and talking about it and planning on it since last year.  Yesterday, after getting home & settled from Orlando, I realized that there was a large mountain where I had left a molehill of laundry.  Problem: I was out of laundry detergent (I'm sure that's the reason that Handsome didn't do any while I was gone...).  So, instead of dropping $12+ on my favorite brand, I finally went through the work and made my own for $19.

4 lb. box of Borax
4 lb. box of Super Washing Soda (or 3.4 or something)
3 lb. OxiClean
4 lbs. Baking Soda
3 bars Fels Naptha
RECIPE FOUND HERE

ASIDE: Dear Father, I have sinned visited Wal Mart.  It has been 7 weeks since my last transgression.  I'll try to not go again.  But all of this stuff was easily found in the laundry detergent isle!

I didn't have anything large enough to mix all of the ingredients in, so I got a little creative and threw it all in a kitchen garbage bag.  Now, some people might call this a redneck thing to do.  And maybe, maybe I am a bit red around the collar.  But I just call it "using what you have".

I Do What I Want

Let me start by saying, I'm very intrinsically motivated.  That's the word the teachers used to describe me when I was in grade school.  If I had been loud about it, or rude, they would have called me "strong willed" or "non compliant".  But I wasn't.  I was shy (I know, right??), respectful, conscientious, and always made sure to get done what they had assigned me before I did what I wanted.  But be sure - I did what I wanted.  It just so happened that "what I wanted" was more of the "coloring extra pages" and "reading historical novels" and "practicing long division" (I'm learning to, as I like to call, to own it) and less of the loud rowdiness that usually accompanies a strong-willed child.  

I always thought I was simply an obedient child.  And I was.  But looking at it now, probably in more detail than one's childhood is ever meant to be examined, I did what I was told, quickly, and then went back to doing what I wanted.  Mom says "I need you to do the dishes"?  I rushed down, did them right away, asked if there was any more, and then back upstairs to read my book or play on my gameboy.  As some of my siblings taught me, the less I fought and the more I did what I was asked, the sooner I could do what I wanted.  I also love my mom to the flippin' moon, and liked to make her happy.  But still, we're taking an un-impassioned view on things here.

Fast forward 20 years.  I'm here, about to leave what is just another conference in the string of conferences I've gone to and will continue to go to.  But I'm having an end-of-bible-camp feeling, a come-to-Jesus moment, if you will.  Are you ready for this?  I want to write it down and then fling it to the outer-interwebs, so that, unlike the way the bible-camp fervor dies down as weeks pass (I'm talking the hype, not the life-changing Good News), this feeling will Stay.  Stick.  Remain.  Do the opposite of fade.

Letters to Orlando: Part IV

Dear Hotel Pool,

You were just what I wanted needed yesterday.

 The sun, the light breeze, the large green pool towels.

The lazy river going around the pool so I didn't even have to work to swim.

Aside from your embarrassing Cabana Boy, you were perfection itself.

Thanks for not letting me stay long enough to get burned.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Bahama Breeze,

Thank you for the most unique restaurant experience of my young life.

I've never been evacuated from a restaurant before.

At least, not before my appetizer came.

Even though I missed out on my pulled-pork-and-plantain-dish, I'm calling it a win.

How can it not be, when I ordered one of the most expensive drinks, and got it comp'd?

#Winning

*********************************************************************************

Letters to Orlando: Part III

Dear Good Life,

I'm quite unsure as to why I don't have views like this regularly.

Also in question: Why don't I have 5 pillows and spend my days lounging?

Please get back to me on that.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Confernce Coordinators, 

Let me just tell you, I'm touched.

You've done what no one else has been able to do before.

You spelled and pronounced my name right.

For the first time, I was not "Maria Magagnoootie"

It feels so good to be me.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Cabana Boy, 

You were nothing like what the movies had led me to expect.
You wore your shirt, and your skin did not glisten, nor did your eyes twinkle or your smile shine.
In a word, disappointing.

Although you did bring me fresh fruit.

Still, the illusion was shattered.

I'm trying not to hold you personally responsible.

*********************************************************************************

Letters to Orlando: Part II

Dear Handsome,

Thanks for calling me while you're grocery shopping and asking me where to find the yogurt.

Even though I'm 9 hours away.

I like that you fall apart in the small ways when I'm not there.

I also like that I know you ate the entire jar of peanut butter.

Although you did surprise me by using crackers instead of just a spoon.

Life's always an adventure with you.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Room Service Lady, 

Thanks for making me feel rich.

I'm sorry I opened the door before remembering to brush my teeth.

Due to me not being actually rich, I'll be eating the other half of the bagel for tomorrow's breakfast, so I won't be inviting you back.

Maybe we'll meet again some other day, under better circumstances.

i.e.- maybe my breath won't smell like death.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Skywriter,

Your work was impeccable when you wrote "GOD" in the sky.

I wonder if, from above, it looked like "DOG"?

*********************************************************************************

Letters to Orlando: Part I

Dear caramel apple that I ate whilst alone in my room,

You were utterly magnificent.

Everything a caramel apple bought at the slightly-over-priced Disney store should be.

I'll love you always.

Or at least as long as the flavor lingers.

*********************************************************************************

Dear Venezuala, 

Thank you for sending this man to be my brother.

I'm so happy to know that I won't starve if ever I find myself in your country.

These.

Were.

Delicious.

Age of The Jetsons

I know it's not reasonable.  And I know it's evidence of my "country mouse goes to the city" complex.  And I don't care.  I just can't help but be enamored of some of this new-fangled technology.  It makes me feel like I'm living in the age of the Jetsons.  Sometimes I yell out "Rosie, please bring me my best dress" just to see if we've reached that point.  It hasn't happened yet, but it's not going to stop me from trying!

First thing that made me feel like a Jetson:  The new Coke machines.  I know people say Firehouse got them first, but I saw them at Moe's.  And I was totally blown away.  

Over 100 different flavors of pop, tea, and energy drinks?  Yes please!  I mean, I only ever get Root Beer out of it, and never flavored, but still.  I like knowing that I can get something more exotic, if only I'd stop loving Root Beer so much.  (never going to happen).

Then, the other night, Handsome and I were feeling particularly uninspired for dinner, and we decided to go drive through a Little Caesar's. I'll tell you what, I nearly called the check-out guy George.  Or perhaps Elroy.  Either way, it felt next-to-magical to me.  I mean, we pulled up, he said "What would you like?" we said "Hot and ready pepperoni pizza, please" and he said "That'll be $5.30" and we gave it to him and he gave us a piping hot pizza, just how we had ordered it.  I  know that pepperoni isn't very impressive, and that it is probably just evidence that the pizza had been sitting around for a long time, but still.  Magic, I tell you.

Pretty Math

Hi.  Want to know two things that are difficult for me?

1. Talking about Math-y things
2. Writing about things I make

Please notice that I was very specific with my verbage (love that word).  I can write math-y things.

Real math.
That I wrote.
And understand.
Please still be my friend.

And just ask anyone who I see even remotely regularly - I love to talk about what I've recently made, be it food, sewn-things, or garden plants (yes, I know God technically "makes" things grow, but I always feel so proud when I take credit for His work...).  In fact, a friend of mine who I hadn't seen in 8 months came to visit, and the first thing I did was show her something I'd recently made.  Then took her on a tour of the garden.  Then fed her some no-bake cookies I'd whipped up.

However, it's hard for me to write about the things that I make, because I don't like to be all self-promoter-y on here.  I like to tell you stories and make you laugh or make you concerned about my well-being (like yesterday - note: the house was not on fire).  And in real life, I go to extensive lengths to not talk about math things.  People are often surprised when they find out what my degrees are in and what I plan to do for a living.  I like having the element of surprise.

This weekend, I'm breaking through one of those barriers and giving a presentation at a conference.  I'm going to be all up in the math business.  My name is even in the program.  I'll chat with fellow PhD students about research, listen to talks  given by professionals in the business.  It's going to be gloriously nerdy.

So I thought that tonight, I'd share with you some things that I made recently, since I'm breaking barriers left and right around here.  I want to warn you that the picture quality is terrible, and so these items are not yet up in my etsy shoppe.  But they will be soon!  So here you go!    

New little wallet design with the change purse on the back side.
I'm pretty much in love with this style.
And the fabric, that looks like you wore your favorite pink dress then jumped in a mud puddle.

"What's this cute little number?" you ask?
And why do my legs look so nice?
I can't explain the second, but I'll unveil the first for you!

The Sound that Made The Camel Cry

I called a friend tonight.

I told her "I'm having a disproportionate reaction to an event."

Because I was.

And because that's how I talk.

Apparently, it takes some degree of effort for me to sound more like a normal person and less like someone who has multiple math degrees.  And at the time I placed that phone call, I didn't have any extra effort in me to give.

The "event" that I was having a disproportionate reaction to was my smoke alarms going off.  Every single one of them, at the same time.  I wasn't cooking, or baking, and nothing was burning.  At least, I was pretty sure that nothing in the house was on fire.  So that's weird.  And annoying.  And I didn't know how to make it stop.  My "disproprotionate reaction" as that I just wanted to sit down on my front stoop and sob.  We're talking the ugly cry, here people.  That's all I wanted to do.

Handsome is currently in a burn building conducting training, so I was left to rely upon the kindness of strangers and my own ingenuity.  It's sort of impressive, really, that it has taken nearly 3 years for this to happen; me to need him and him be unreachable due to the fire/medic service.  This was the first time, as long as we're not counting the time he left me at the grocery store.  Let's not count that.  

I didn't really take time to change into "going out in public" clothes.
I wore these snazzy platform Teva's, a tank top, and pajama shorts.
For some reason, it made sense to me to leave my house to go to the grocery store,
but I couldn't take time to change, in case it really was on fire.
Like I said, I had no extra effort left.

I loaded Duke up in the Jeep, so that in case the house really was on fire, I wouldn't have a char-broiled pup on my hands, and went to the grocery store.  A mere $18 later, I had 4 new batteries all in place.

It still happened again.  So now I'm playing the process of elimination where we methodically unhook each detector from the electric, and see what happens.  And I'm not baking.  Just in case.

So begins another adventure as the wife of a firefighter.  Paramedic school also starts tomorrow (likely the cause of my disproportionate reaction), and so I'm also entering a new phase in life.  I like to call it "The Wedded Bachelorette".  I hear that a person can survive most anything, if they have a finish line.  So here's to the next 11 months.  May they be as painless as possible.  And may I still be able to recognize my husband at the end of it.

Oh, and may my house not burn down.  Amen.

Glamorous as always,

TFW

Southern Sweetness

Some things are universal.  There are universal truths, commonly understood facial expressions, and even global understandings.

And then there are other things.

Things that can only happen in the south.

I present, for your viewing pleasure, the first of two Southern Experiences for you today.

(1) As if the door latch was not enough, of course the man driving the truck is wearing camouflage.  Because that's what we do here.  I'm guessing he's either got (a) a glass of sweet tea in his cup holder, or (b) a hushpuppy rolling around on the passenger side.

Momma Mia in the Yearbook

Momma... OooooOOooOOoooo OOoooooh!

That's how I start emails to my Mom.  And phone calls.  And voicemails.  I can't help it.  I mean, if you had a Mom who looked like this, you'd serenade her too!

And, as if those photos weren't proof enough that this girl (the one writing this, who has two thumbs) is waaaaay blessed with an awesome maternal situation, I've got even more.  My MIL.  Who may-or-may-not know that I yearbookedherself...

I mean really, should a girl be so lucky?  No, probably not.  But am I?  Oh yes.  I love my mothers.  We're about 600 miles apart today, and that kind of blows.  But thus is the life we've been dealt.  To make up for my absence, I've sent them some special presents from Delicate Fortress.  Because my moms love pretty things, and helping people.  And because I like buying affection.

Happy Mother's Day, all you ladies out there!  And if you want a little extra fling on your special day, go yearbookyourself.  It's pretty much awesome.

The luckiest girl in any yearbook,

TFW

The Great Yogurt Test

Handsome is prejudiced against the Greeks.  Well, at least the greeks who make yogurt.  He's just not a fan.  I thought that it was all in his head.  In addition, I was tired of paying loads of cash for his current favorite yogurt choice.  So yesterday, in the heat of the moment at the grocery store (where I lose all ability to reason and navigate, if we're being honest), I just started grabbing strawberry yogurts.

The idea was, I would give a blind taste test to Handsome.  See if he really liked his favorite yogurt best.  See if he really hated Greek yogurt.  See if he would let me make him eat blindfolded.  Really, it was a whole bunch of fun tests all rolled into one.

 Who knew there was so many different colors and textures of pink strawberry yogurt?

Best Worst Night Ever

So, when we last left each other, I was setting up the tent for an impromptu backyard campout.

What?  You haven't been waiting with baited breath (I love that saying for some reason) for me to fill you in on the rest of the adventure?  Please, dahling, you're fooling yourself.  You live and die on these pages here.

Alright, back to the story.

So, I set up the tent, and Handsome went to work on getting a campfire going.  Because we all know that a campout isn't a campout without a campfire.  Or without grilled food.  So I started grilling, and then ran out of propane, then ran and got some more propane, and then resumed grilling.  We at at 9:30.  It was most definitely an adventure.  Riveting, really.  We should have just eaten Jiffy Pop.

Can you believe that Handsome had never done the Jiffy Pop thingy?  Oh my, we loved that as kids.  That and the colored popcorn.  Any one else ever do that??  You should know something else.  Something about those new flat marshmallows.  One isn't enough for a s'more.  Its just not.  Two, with chocolate sandwiched in between, is perfect for a s'more.  Just so you know.

Impulsive Love & S'mores

Hey friends of the blogosphere!

I have a real post for you, a post full of insight and humor, frugal ideas and lovely craftiness.  Or at least, as soon as I think of it, I'm sure it will have all that.  But I can't think of it, because Handsome just got home from a 9-mile bike ride (because he's a beast!) and said some magical words to me:

"Do you want to set the tent up in the backyard?"

Was he kidding?  No!  Does he have to get up for work tomorrow?  Yes!  But still, because I had asked a few weeks ago, and because the weather is right, and because I'm married to a man who love love loves me, he asked me if I wanted to camp out in the backyard.

Someday, I'll make these and think back fondly on tonight's adventure!

I've wanted to camp for about... all of our married life (nigh on 4 years now).  He got a tent for Christmas of 2007, and we've never used it.  Here's hoping the moths haven't gotten to it.  Handsome's schedule doesn't allow for a whole heck of a lot of weekend adventures, mostly due to him having no real weekends to speak of.  And with paramedic school looming (the black cloud in all of our sunny days), our fun time together is going to get shorter and shorter.

And so, although I love my bed and was a little taken back by his offer (it's not at all practical, you see?) I jumped at the chance.  Life is an adventure, and it is our opportunity each day to seize what we can.  So tonight, I'll be siezing some s'mores by the campfire, snuggling up in a tent, and (hopefully) drifting off to the sounds of the night.  

Are you turning any ordinary moments into adventures?  I highly recommend it!

Best girl to the best guy,

TFW

Things I Love (NFOP)

I'm loving life today.  The sun is shining, the humidity is down, Handsome is not working, I got my exercise in early so I can eat freely the rest of the day, I went swimming for a bit... I could go on, but it might make you a tad bit jealous.

Okay, fine, twist my arm.  I'll keep listing things for you.  But before I do, I wanted to let you in on some lingo I'm inventing.  And yes, I know you're supposed to wait until you get the phhhhd before you make up words.  But, I feel like, since acronyms aren't words, it doesn't really count. So here's my new acronym:

def:  NFOP - Not Found On Pinterest

If there was an 8th day of the week, and if that 8th (I keep trying to write the word "8th".  You know, the one that begins with an "e" and ends with a "th" and has a mess of letters inbetween?  I keep doing it wrong, so I'm sticking with the number.  I hope you're okay with that.) day started with the letter "N" then I would have a running post called "NFOP Neuthdays" or whatever the n-day-of-the-week was called.  Just so you know.

Get ready, as you read this, to think of things that you love.  Because this isn't an I-give-and-you-take relationship.  No sirree.  This is an I-give-and-I-take sort of relationship.  So I'm just saying, it's about time for you to give.  Tell you what; you leave a comment with some of your favorite nfop things, and I'll pick a winner.  And then I'll make that winner a strawberry pie.  And then I'll eat the pie, for the winner.  Sound good?  Here we go!

I love it when a plan comes together.
We rigged this little contraption so that
(a) We could store the lid to my Jeep out of the way
(b) It would have minimal hardware on the ceiling when the lid is not in storage
(c) We were buying responsibly.  We used ratchet straps that I will store in my Jeep when the lid is not on the ceiling
(d) Handsome would run into the corner of it as much as possible.  Its already happened once

I love Road Food.
Not roadkill or anything like that (although I know of some people who do.. EWW!),
but food that you buy on the side of the road.
Fruit stands - Best produce, and best prices, usually
Pick-up hauling around a smoker selling BBQ?  Generally a great idea, if you like delicious things.
Funnel Cakes in the carpet store parking lot?  Actually, that one was a bad idea.

I love flowering trees.
And fruit trees.
But I think fruit trees generally flower, so I'm sticking with my first one.

Okay, there's my three.  Your turn!  What 3 things do you love?

I love lamp,

TFW

p.s.- I took all these pictures with my new phone.  How awesome is that?!?

Southern Sunday Confessions

Hey y'all.

I can say "y'all" now, because I have a blooming magnolia tree in my backyard.  Few things are as southern as a magnolia tree.  And I don't mean "blooming" as some sort of euphemism; it is literally blooming.  Big, beautiful blooms.  And it smells just so wonderful.  Even Handsome noticed, and he rarely notices smells, good or bad.  

Tonight, I"ve got some things to tell you, so I'm going to link up with my new friend Alyx from EveryDay is a New Adventure for her Sunday Confessions.  Its good for the soul, trust me.

The End of an Era

Subtitled: I Now Have a Wocket Robot in my Pocket.

Ode to a phone:

You've been my phone for 3-odd years,

I always thought our parting would bring me to tears,

It seems, instead, that I'm happy inside,

A new phone, that works?! This I can abide.

Goodbye, dear flip phone, goodbye and goodnight,

We've been together so long, it almost doesn't seem right.

But there's a new phone in town, and you're out the door

I'd sell you online, but no one uses flip phones anymore.

--Peace--

And so ends the era of a dumb not-so-smart phone.  I held out as long as I could, but the need for GPS drove me to it.  That, and a sweet Mother's day deal.  I think I'll keep the little guy around, though, just in case I get freaked out about the whole my-phone-is-a-small-robot thing.  Anyone else out there still have an oldie-but-goodie making their phone calls for them?

I watched iRobot too many times,

TFW

Leveling-Up the General

This may come as a shock, but sometimes, I just don't feel like making dinner.  I don't.  Sometimes (aka- when its not watermelon season) I just grab a bowl of cereal, and call it a night (I mean, if its good enough for the first meal of the day, why not the last?  Am I right, or am I right?).  And other times, I'll get a half a watermelon and a spoon, and just go to town.  Those are basically my two go-to plans when I don't feel like making dinner.

When I'm home alone, those plans are fine.

However, when my handsome husband is home, I like to step up my game a little bit.  I mean, I don't want him to hear tale of some bodacious babe that cooks full 4-course meals every night, and his mind get to wanderin'.  So I have a secret plan for when I don't feel like cooking.  You may have heard of it.  It's called "take-out".  

Now, I realize, after several friends have pointed it out, that take-out is no big secret.  Apparently y'all know about the magic that is the telephone.  But I do have a secret plan for making it just a wee bit better.  Here's my method, broken down into steps.

Step 1: Order General Tso's with white rice.
Ask for "extra broccoli, extra spicy"

Step 2: Be sad when you get home and find 4 measly pieces of broccoli, instead of the usual 2.
Decide that "extra broccoli" must not translate well.

Mail Time! #IRLOMashup

So I've got some mail to share with you.

Mail Time!

First up, let's talk about the #IRLOMashup (in-real-life-online).  There's teams, you see, and I'm on a team.  But not just any team, Team Awesome.  That's just how we roll around here.  And I got this card in the mail, along with some instructions.

Tico<3Tina are some friends of mine, and they make these cards that have a blank canvas on them, so that you can write your own message.  For example:

or

I'm pretty sure I need a whole slew of these so that I can properly "your mom" all the people in my life.  You can read more about them here.  My job, once receiving these cards, is to take a picture of myself with the card...

Write up a little something something (more on that later) and then send of off to the next person on my team (also more on that later).  So consider this my submission photo.  Handsome was going to take it, but he's snoring right now.  When I mentioned that "later" when he is willing to take a picture, it would be dark, he said that "That says something about you.  Tells people you like to party."  He's sleep-lying again.

Anyhow, Team Awesome is still looking for people to be on our team, and if you're interested, let me know quickly!  There are prizes and all sorts of great stuff for winning teams!  If you're interested in applying, please be willing to (1) Write a "your mom" on the card, and (2) Take a jumping picture with the card.  Team Awesome has high standards, what can I say?  More information here.