Yesterday was a long day. Even for pre-mama-me, it would have been long. New Faculty Orientation, for 8 1/2 hours + 1 room + 19 (shouldabeen20) fluorescent lights = L.O.N.G. But add in that this was my first day “back to work”, my first day where I could have been with my girl but I wasn’t… that actually spells out R.O.U.G.H.
I did not love it.
I was good for about 5 hours and 45 minutes. I interacted with people. I payed attention and took notes and drew appropriately detailed doodle drawings. I even made it past lunch (which I had to run away from to take care of some *ahem* pump issues). And then 3:05 hit. And passed. And the people kept talking. And then 3:39 came. And went. And the people kept talking. And then 4:02 ticked and tocked and became the past.
I quickly became useless. No notes. No attention payed. Not even any doodling. My usefulness had simmered down to the ability to change my phone’s background to this picture, and then stare at her sweet face.
I may have stroked her little arms on the screen. A lot. I may have scrolled back and forth through the screens to see all of her rolls and neck creases. The worst part was that my arms had been empty all. day. long.
I’m not used to my arms being empty. I’m used to my back aching a little bit, and my hands being slobbered on and my face being covered in the *kisses* that #RG loves to give. I’m used to spending my mornings with my girl, looking at all of the things that she forgot existed overnight. I’m used to getting raspberries blown at me while feeding her mango & banana so that I end up wearing mango & banana. I’m used to that.
But Monday starts our new normal, Friday was just a teaser. Monday, my girl RG is hitting the scene at our local daycare. She’ll take it by storm, this I know. And she’s not going to be there “full time” since I obviously can’t handle it and honestly don’t need to. I’m not totally concerned, but I’d be lying if I said I only felt excitement. It’s a mixed bag.
I might cry on Monday. Briefly, but I’ll pack tissues all the same. And hopefully I’ll fill my head with plans and papers with words and stu