Tomorrow starts some new things.
Me being a teacher of record for the university (read: kind of a big deal!). I’ve got 50 students all to myself. It feels exciting and terrifying, but mostly exciting
RG going to daycare. I’ve been saying I was good with this, I’ve been telling others (and myself) that I’m good with this, I’ve called it a “break” and “really only part time” and “a great social experience”. And then I packed my girl’s bag tonight, and proceeded to bawl off and on for the next two hours. Truth is: I don’t want this. I don’t want my girl to spend her days with anyone other than me (and the occasional person who loves her, but not because they’re paid to). I don’t want this, but its what we’ve got. I have to finish my degree (my husband, several advisors, and trusted friends tell me so. God hasn’t disagreed with them). And really, it isn’t the fact that she’s going to be at daycare that wrecks havoc on my mama heart; its the fact that she’s not going to be with me. So there’s those feelings, too.